But I'm not.
Because I'm actually awake after 9pm!! Can you believe that? Seeing as I've been falling asleep on the couch beginning at 8:40 lately and Sgt. has been getting a nice nightly arm workout by carrying me to the bedroom (yeah, he actually does :) although I'm halfway incoherent and probably drooling most of the time).
I don't know what it's been these past few days - I hope to God I'm just PMSing because honestly this is just too many emotions popping up one after the other. Tonight it's homesickness, yesterday it was just frustration? I don't know what it was. Monday it was something, although, can't remember now on that one either. To be completely 100% honest, here it is:
I love living here! I love living here with him! I love my job!!
I miss knowing whats going on. I miss Mexican food and going out and doing something (anything.) I miss making plans with people.
Still no friends and it's starting to wear me down. Like I told Sgt. tonight, it's not that I'm unhappy, heck, I'm not even lonely!! I certainly have no room to complain with everything I've been blessed with lately but.... listen, I get up at 3:30 am... I am at work from 6am to usually at least 5pm (but I love it, the hours fly and I absolutely adore all the work I put into my kids and my class) and get home a little after 6pm, where I eat dinner with Sgt. (a dinner he cooks because he's wonderful and doesn't want me to have to feel obligated to cook after such long days... and probably because he likes eating before 9pm) watch a little TV and pass out. (read above) It wouldn't be so bad if I was starting to mesh with the people at work but still nothing... they're not bad people, or even mean people, they just kind of stick to themselves. So I don't ever really feel like "a part of the club" (how 8th grade.... I know), I talk to 4 year olds all day, and then get a couple of hours with my boyfriend before sleep hits.
Ok done complaining, I was just missing home a lot this week and it seemed appropriate to blog about. Did I mention Sgt. is going back to Texas in two weeks for a family thing.... and that I'm unable to go? I'm a little jealous. Not his fault... mandatory inservice for work... but dang. Alright, moving on.
Living together is still so far, so good! I'm hoping that with his new work schedule we'll have a little more time to do things together other than sleep and eat. I know, I know, not long ago there was a time when we would go weeks and months without seeing each other - so, no, it's not going to kill me, but that's the point, if I have the opportunity to spend time with him, then why not take advantage of it? I just don't want us to get into a routine of being "room mates" rather than an actual breathing, living, madly in love couple. Did I mention he brought me dessert tonight, which included chocolate brownie ice cream with sliced strawberries on top?? Never had a room mate do THAT for me! ;)
Oh, and side note, Sgt. is tracking for another 4.0 this semester!! Whooo hoo! He can downplay whatever he wants, but it's my blog so on here I can brag about whatever IIII want. He also got some outstanding cadet of the year or something.... which, and don't tell him I said this, but which I'm also happy for him for. The ROTC/green-2-gold thing is still push and shove for him. A couple of weeks ago he came home from a FTX all sorts of angry and frustrated and it set off a sort of week and a half isolation for him. He began feeling really stagnant again and I got a whiff of his "I"m not happy and something needs to change quickly" mindset. However I didn't take it so personally this time and I like to think I did a lot better handling it than I have in the past. This time it was just more of, me wishing he wasn't unhappy. And wanting to be able to help. No one wants to see the person they love unhappy. Anyway, doing better now!
Maybe this weekend I'll go explore some of the city.... who knows what the deal is. I'll leave you with a funny quote though. Yesterday on the playground one of my students was standing near me and she saw me rub my head. She asked what was wrong and I told her I just had a headache.
4 year old blonde girl: "I know why you have a headache"
me: "You do?"
4 yobg: "Yup, you drink too much"
:) Happy Day everyone!
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