Friday, July 17, 2009

about that time

It's interesting to think what my life would be like today with just a few short shifts in fate.

Recently a very close friend of mine, who also happens to be an Army Girlfriend, gave me some bad news. Her soldier applied for the same program Sgt. was accepted into and he was rejected. Granted, it's not like free candy, and Sgt. worked his butt off not only on the packet for the application but his entire Army career which set the file that was eventually granted acceptance. Since my friends soldier was not accepted, he will be deploying very soon for the second time.

Last deployment we were going through it together. Our deployments overlapped so as her soldier was coming home, Sgt. still had a few months left in country, but still... we went through it together.

It's true what they say, about the bond forged between women who have a loved one deployed. I couldn't have imagined a quicker or stronger friendship.

I'm sad that the cards didn't work out for her the same way, it's just another reminder at how blessed I truly am to be in the situation I'm in.

Sgt. would be training up right now. Getting ready for his third deployment. I would be getting ready as well, preparing myself, as much as you can anyway, for our long separation. Would our relationship be as strong as it is now? Would I ever have gotten the privilege to wake up next to him every morning? Would he still be in Germany, and us still only able to see each other once every 6 months or so? There's no telling really.

With three years left in our in-between Army world I'm resolved to enjoy every moment. Will it make it harder down the road? Maybe. How will I feel during our second deployment together when he's been home and close for so long? So much can happen in that amount of time... just look whats happened in a year! The entire course of our lives, our relationship, shifted because a series of very fortunate events. Or maybe, maybe it was always supposed to be this way. I'm typically a big believer in that. The other side to the coin is that this year has gone by so fast... I find myself wondering how fast the next three will be.

I'm so grateful to have what we have together. When I started blogging half way through Sgt.'s deployment over a year ago... I never imagined I'd be here. Now I know anything is possible :) good and bad of course... which is why the here and now is so wonderful.

I don't wish Sgt. was deploying again right now, although from time to time I think he does. No matter where he is or what he's doing, he is a soldier to his core... and I see that. I am not hurt or surprised that he would long for his work and his duty. I do wish though, that I could be there for my friend as I was before. Not just someone who's "been there" but someone who was there at that exact same moment. This may sound weird to say, and I'm sure it won't come out exactly how I feel it but, there is a certain pride that comes with saying "My boyfriend? He's deployed. Yes I miss him, but we take it a day at a time. I'm proud of him. The waiting isn't so bad" of being able to say we did it, we made it. If I had to pick a positive about a deployment, I suppose that's the one I'd choose. It doesn't make me miss him less when he's gone, and it doesn't make any of it any easier, but it does give you a warm fuzzy from time to time.... and everyone can use one of those.

He could be working long hours and getting ready for his third trip to the other side of the world. Instead, he will be home in a few hours from work, and he'll wake me up off the couch or in bed if I can make it, and he'll kiss me goodnight.... and our life will continue on this course it's meant to be on.

I just think it's necessary from time to time to remember how I could just as easily be saying:

He's working long hours and he's getting ready for his third trip to the other side of the world. He'll call in a few hours to say goodnight, and I love you... and our life will continue on this course it's meant to be on.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Oh, you're ganna want to hear this one

Here is a story of how our first car buying experience together went....

The back story here is that my poor Protege came to an early end when she was rear-ended back in May. The car was totalled and my dreams of continuing to not have a car payment seemed teetery at best.

In reality, getting hit was probably a blessing because my transmission was going out anyway and getting the settlement for the totalled car would help us purchase a new one...which was coming anyway.

We decided to purchase the salvage title for my car thinking "Hey, it still runs, at least this will give us time to shop around for the best deal" and it ended up giving us about two weeks.... last week the transmission started failing on me and we have to jump start my poor girl to life every morning so we have been frantically searching for another car.

I have never had to purchase a car before, my first and second car (the only two I've ever owned) were both given to me by my parents so I have been very lucky to have someone else do the dirty work. Sgt. spent the entire week searching through private vehicle listings and discussing with me what I was looking for and what I would love, because he wanted so badly to make me happy and to also get me something that would be a good deal.

He really was a life saver in all of this. I don't know what I would have done without him. I tend to deal with stress in the "Ostrich method" When I see it coming I walk along until it gets so close I stick my head in the sand hoping it will disappear and then I have a breakdown (much like sitting in front of the computer crying after looking at cars online for 4 hours) and THEN I am able to attack. Once all my other defenses are spent.

Sgt. on the other hand, deals with stress in the "Cat method." You know that poster where the kitty is barely hanging onto the tree limb? Stress pushes at him and he pushes back. Hard. He will dig his claws in without a second thought and attack head on. Which he did in this situation and I am immensely grateful.

Like many things in life, he is my rock, and this was no different.

We were getting into a situation we didn't want to be in, which was NEEDING to buy a car SOON. We decided on getting a cash car. Using the money we got from my car being totalled and searching for a good deal. Just something reliable that will get me to and from my 40-min-one-way commute and something I would like.

Then we come to this weekend. And we do NOTHING but look at cars, and talk about cars, and sigh with frustration about cars, and maybe a few tears on my part about cars, and call people about cars, and lower our standards on cars... blah blah blah.

It's Sunday now.

Sgt. worked from 11pm - 8am. He came home and we ate a donut together, and he slept for ONLY an hour and a half. Then he woke up and got back to helping me search for cars. We called 4 different people yesterday morning leaving messages. We went and looked at one car which was owned by a typical former used car salesman who was really wanting us to pay WAY over KBB value for a car with a bad transmission. No thank you.

Then we find this car.

This car on craigslist which is posted by a father selling the car for his deployed son. His deployed mechanic son. His deployed mechanic son who just replaced this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and this on the car before deploying. His deployed son who just replaced this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and this on the car and then had the radio stolen out of the car while it was in the hold lot. His deployed son who just replaced all this and then had the unfortunate luck to have his radio stolen out of the car by some other soldier. His deployed son who just replaced all this, had his radio stolen, and who also has the difficult situation of having his young wife at home who really needs to sell the car because she needs the money.

and our hearts swell with the hope of helping another soldier and his family while still getting something we need.

And we EVEN asked to get his APO address so we could send him a care package.

Because after Sgt. had only slept 2 hours in over 24 and I was at my wits end looking at cars and we DID find a car that drove better than anything else we looked at, we didn't question the story. We didn't really think about all the details lining up. We bought the car at KBB listed value and drove home happy as clams. After a night of sleep, a weird feeling, and highly tuned facebook/myspace/and AKO white page stalking skills.... we find out the real story.

The unit his son belongs to just got BACK from Afghanistan, they're not deployed nor deploying. And the guy listed on the title, the "Army Mechanic Son", in fact states his job as an infantry man in the training room.... not a mechanic at all. It looks like he and his wife just got married. If he was married when he deployed (as he said he was) why would his car be in the hold lot on post? But hey, still could've gotten broken into, right? But there is no sign of forced entry. Then again, the car was probably in housing since he was married (if he was) and if it was in housing it's still likely that his wife could have left her door unlocked and some poor soul just opened the door and took their stereo. However, whoever did that really took their time clipping all of the wires off so you can easily install a new stereo with an install kit. (thinking, they wanted to keep their radio... how about you?)

So yeah. We got dooped. On the "deployed solider in a bad way" story. The only things that really make me mad are 1. those details are things we KNOW.... but we just trusted because it sounded like a worthy cause and we were tired. 2. It makes Sgt. feel like he failed me in some sort of way and he didn't. He was my life saver and God-send in all of it. 3. I was going to send a really good care package. I was looking forward to it.

Do I still like the car even though the people I bought it from are less than honest? Yes. Especially if it works exactly the way they said. Do I think I paid a fair price for it? Yeah... I probably would've offered him a little lower but I didn't want to low ball some soldiers wife so I just offered KBB value and took it. What probably happened is they wanted to sell their 98 Toyota Camry but weren't able to easily around Ft. Campbell because all of those soldiers just got back and soldiers who just got back from deployment are usually much more eager to jump in to something they can spend their hard earned extra cash on. So in the end I suppose I still got an ok deal... and we came out the good guys which I'm always ok with.

That's alright though. Luckily, I'm in love with a man who actually is connected to the Army and was a deployed NCO, and knows better. Spc. will get a call later on to make sure he's not running some kind of scam. And to make sure that my newly purchased car isn't going to blow up this week.

Some people. I swear.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

He saw me in my Spanx


For a little background here, I don't know if anyone else out there owns a pair of Spanx but they are these wondrous little body shapers you can wear under any clothing to smooth everything out and hold anything in. I bought mine while in college and have loved them ever since. And yes, they are the obnoxious and embarrassing from-under-the-boobs-down-to-mid-thigh kind. (And now that I've said boob creepers will be here in no time.)

Actually one of the first times I ever wore my spanx was under the dress I wore to Sgt.'s Cav ball. We had been dating about two month and when I got dressed at his apartment (I lived about an hour away) I left all of my bags in his bathroom so that once we got home from Cav ball I could make the "I really have to pee" excuse and cruise in there to take them off in case... ya know... Annnnnyyyywwaaaayyyy

Well yesterday I was putting on my insanely cute red white and blue plaid dress for the day. Sgt. was laying on the bed and I'm standing half in and half out of the closet. When I came out to twirl around and receive my adoring compliments :) he said "It looks great babe! You really do look great, I don't know why you don't wear more tight fitting clothing, all your dresses seem kind of poofy"

I might preface this part with the fact that I've lost about 6lbs since moving here. Yay me!

True, I'm very fond of the A line dress and the empire waist. I just think they're flattering on me. That is his definition of poofy. However, I've also got this little bitty, not so flat, although not fat tummy thing which is where the Spanx come in handy! Not to mention the fact that I don't really have a lot of places to go that require corsets or skin tight dresses....

But ok, I'll see how this plays out honey.

"Well I just think these are more comfortable, but I have that bridesmaids dress that's pretty form fitting."

So now we're playing fashion show and he's absolutely enjoying watching me dress and undress in all these dresses.

I put the bridesmaids dress on which is made out of that silky-satiny material that grabs and hangs on to absolutely every single curve one has. Even if your panties create a little hug in the waist, this dress shows it. *eye roll* but I wore the thing. So I put it on for Sgt. and he oohs and aahs at how fabulous I look. And me being he woman I am point out my not flat-not fat tummy thing and mention the spanx.

He insists he doesn't know what I'm talking about and says I look great, but he is intrigued by the mention of watching me try on something else.

So I agree to try the dress on with the spanx underneath.

If you have ever had to put these things on, you'll start laughing about here. Because they're tight. And to get into them requires a fair bit of stretching and jumping. Plus they're not cute. So I go into the closet to find them and I show them to him in all their not-yet-stretched-over-my-body tiny glory and then head back to the closet to change into them, out of sight.

My plan was to put the spanx on, put the dress on, and then come out.

His plan was different.

When he saw me heading back he was like "no no no, just put them on." "What, here?" "yeah" "this is not going to be sexy honey, I promise, just give me a second" "please?"

After more back and forth I agreed to come out once they were on... just so he could see them on.

Yeah really.

And his response? "that's awesome babe! That kind of looks like those one-piece wrestler suits!"

I did put the dress on over it to prove my point but he insisted there was no difference and I look great both ways. Such a wonderful man, don't you think? :)

I can't believe I just mortified us but in fairness, I did say while this was all going on, "I'm going to blog about this"

Two years ago the mere thought of him knowing I even had ON Spanx was horrific.... now I'm parading around our bedroom in them.

Atleast I know he really loves me!