Saturday, March 29, 2008

When you care enough to send.....

These are the kinds of e-cards we send each other. We're so delightfully weird. I miss you darlin'!

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Same page of the same book.

So our e-mail disagreement, did actually turn into a decent argument. In the end it turns out we were basically saying the same thing and wanting the same thing - I did have to pull out the "thanks for making me cry jerk" card though to get him to actually elaborate. However, in the end, we pretty much agreed on everything. I survived our first e-mail fight. Yay me. Does this deserve like, a new dress? Or maybe some new shoes? ooohhh swimsuit season!!

It comes down to this - you choose to be in a relationship. You choose to be with someone. Of course this is only my perspective and it only pertains to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships as I have never been engaged or married, but it's a choice. And not one you only make once. You choose every day to work at it, to love someone, to be with someone. I think it's normal to have times where you think to yourself "do I really want this person in my life" - you look at all your options and then decide "yes, absolutely." I think this builds an incredible foundation for whatever may be in the future because in the most simplistic way it's saying "Yes, I want this. Yes, I want him. Yes, I want her." - it's not about feeling obligated it's about taking stock of everything and deciding that where you are and who you're with is the best decision for you.

He wants me :). And I want him. We choose each other. We choose this relationship, however hard it may be some days. That means more to me than having someone home or having someone else who is more available.

"The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice." - George Eliot

That's how we move from one place to the other with each other... we make the choice and then grow together.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

E-mail fights

We're having a fight. Well... actually, I wouldn't call it a fight. We're not even arguing, we're discussing that's for sure. Fighting not so much. One of the things I love about our relationship is we don't ever fight... we don't really argue much, but if we do (like now) it's more of a "this is my opinion and view point and I need it to be heard" "well this is MY opinion and view point" "I understand that... where can we find common ground or where can we work on this"

I think it's healthy, but it doesn't make me like it any more.

Arguing or disagreeing through e-mail plain 'ole, sucks. A lot of the reason is because I'm waiting for a reply... it's not like I can get an immediate response to my concerns. Also, you don't get to hear tone of voice or see someones body language. A big part of reading people is being able to see that sort of thing. It's frustrating. I just really want a hug. How far away is leave now?

Everything will be ok though. I'm not worried that this is some kind of monumental shift in our relationship... just something we need to work on and through. So, here I sit, waiting for a reply. *sigh*

Dog sitting will be over and done with tomorrow night. Thank goodness!! One less stress.

I still really really miss him.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

I love poems

"If There Were No Tomorrow"
By D.R. Myest

I would tell you today that you are the one that fills my life. Whose smile I cannot wait to see. Whose arms I long to have wrapped around me. Whose lips I live to kiss softly, passionately, in every way.

I would want you to know that you make my heart skip a beat. You fill my soul with contentment. You brighten my dark skies. You fill my days and nights with stars, hopes, and cascading dreams.

I would want you to see how beautiful the world looks with your eyes, through mine. Your eyes light up the sky. Your touch paints the Heavens. Your kiss creates amazing rainbows of beauty, sunshine, and life.

I would want you to understand that I have always loved you before I knew there was you, before our eyes ever met, before I found in you Happiness, completeness, and passion.

If there were no tomorrow I would tell you that you are the greatest gift in my life. Whose love I cherish above all else. You sustain me with your laughter, love, and friendship. Before there was no knowing I'd tell you I love you infinitely, without boundaries, and beyond time.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

a very good Friday indeed :).

Maybe that penny I found Thursday on my way out of the grocery store WAS lucky!

Sgt. called again yesterday and while that in its self would be great, seeing as we haven't talked twice in one week in at least a couple months, we were able to talk for about an hour and a half!! 90 whole minutes! I can hardly explain how happy it made me :). It was just, US... does that make sense? We just talked and laughed and were smart alacks to each other. No news on his leave yet but I can tell he's getting more excited about the possibility. Before it was kind of a "well, we'll see" attitude, yesterday it was "so what do you have planned for my R&R?"

The truth is I haven't planned a single thing. I don't want to. I don't even know what to expect, I don't know if he's going to want to just relax or if he's going to want to do something every second of the day. I don't know what his family has planned for him or what they want to do. I'm not trying to be a martyr but the way I see it, it's HIS leave, not mine; and I don't want to end up disappointed because I planned something that he doesn't want to do. I'm easygoing... anything we do is fine as long as he's here. When I did ask him "Well what do you want to do while you're home?" he said "spend time with you." - sounds good to me. :)

I have given a certain thing a lot of thought though. His arrival. I don't know if that's a strange thing to have nightmares about but I have. His family has told me that I'm going with them to the airport to pick him up (whenever he comes home), which is great because I love his family! However, the more I think about it, the more I wonder if they should go alone. I miss him so much, I've been looking forward to seeing him again and holding him again for over a year, we're both private people as far as being overly affectionate, especially in front of his family, and I don't know if picking him up at the airport with 5 other people is really the best way to say hello again after so long. They've all missed him just as much, for just as long, everyone is going to want a part of him and I don't blame them! I almost wonder if it would be better for Sgt. and better for his family if they got that time first. Sgt. wouldn't have to worry about being too affectionate or too standoffish. His family will be able to reconnect with him first and have that time alone with him. Sgt. will have something else to look forward to after the initial welcome home. Me. :). We haven't discussed it yet, we will once we know when he's coming home for R&R. I know that many married couples ask for time alone before all the family comes over to welcome the soldier home, and seeing as Sgt. and I are not married, it seems logical that in this situation the roles would be reversed. Any thoughts? Maybe it's just because it's my first "I haven't seen you in so long! I missed you so much! You're HERE." - hopefully my first of many :).

He finally got both of his packages and since we were on the phone yesterday I told him to go ahead and open the Easter package so I could hear him go through it :). The camo Easter eggs were a big hit and the Cascarones made it there pretty much in one piece!! There were a couple that were broken but overall they made it there safe and sound. When he opened the box I was a little disappointed in how underwhelmed he sounded. "They're cascarones babe!" "thanks...." "ya know, confetti eggs?" "yeah they're filled with confetti" - I was confused because he sounded.... confused. "Don't you know what those are? Haven't you ever played with cascarones on Easter?" "nope"

WHAT?!!!?? He had never heard of the darn things! "They're egg shells filled with confetti, you walk up behind someone and then smash it on their head, the confetti falls all over them... it's just a funny thing to do." "ooohh!! That sounds awesome!" He was much more excited when he figured out what they were for, and what you could do with them. "I can't believe you've never heard of them before, that's crazy" "I think it's just a Texas thing honey" "no... it can't be, I've grown up with those things" "yeah well.... like I said, you're a Texan." He even asked his room mate who confirmed that he too had never heard of this Easter favorite... though they really loved the idea. "I'm going to take some pictures of me and BG smashing eggs on peoples heads and send 'em to ya!" - now THAT sounds like a fantastic idea darlin'. Hey! Maybe I can cross something off my list, figuring out how to get him to want to send more pictures home, note to self: send more harmless, yet fun, destructive items. :).

I miss him.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The bright side.

So, about an hour and a half after I posted the last post yesterday, Sgt. Called.

Ummm.... yeah, so... I'm the Jerk.

Apparently he also tried to call earlier but I was out to lunch.

YAY!! He called!! :) I didn't tell him that I was about two inches away from throwing something that reminded me of him at something that reminded me of the Army. Why bother right? :). The conversation wasn't long, it was almost 2 a.m. over there and while I could complain that every time he calls he's exhausted so our conversation is usually cut short or reduced to grunting noises.... I won't. I'm just glad he called. Instead of looking at it as "he only calls when he's too tired to hold a conversation" I'll look at it as "he was so exhausted, and he still made time to call." because honestly.... I really believe it's the latter anyway.

He did give me some GREAT news! His leave is going to be moved up! Not sure how "up" but definitely by at least a couple weeks and possibly by a couple months!! If he gets what he wants... or near what he wants, then I'll only have two more paychecks to go till I see him again :-D. The thought is almost a little incomprehensible. After over a year... just a handful of weeks? Hard to imagine really. I'm trying not to get my hopes up... try being the operative word. If things don't work out I will just chalk it up to another one for the Army... cause lets be honest, in this love triangle of a relationship, that woman gets most of the attention. I'm really hoping they do though, I think we both need it. No question that we both want it.

Looking back through my blog I realized that I posted another rather "frustrated and sad" post around this exact time last month. I really wish my PMS would work out a schedule with his twice a month phone calls. This emotional roller coaster is enough to make me want to make me want to put on Pat Benitar and scream at the top of my lungs.

While we were on the phone Sgt. asked how the dog sitting was going. I told him I'm making a new stipulation in our relationship, wherever it may lead, he's not ever allowed to get a small dog. Ever. "Oh, no, I hate small dogs, no problem there" "Good :) I knew I liked you" - haha. For any of you out there that own small dogs, more power to you, I'm not condemning you at all! I think they're cute! It's not about the look of the dog, or really the size either... it's their personality. Maybe somewhere out there, there is a tiny little shitzu who is so laid back and just kinda goes with the flow... but I've yet to meet one... let alone hear of one. To each their own I suppose.

I wouldn't say the sitting is going "bad" although I did offer to send them to Iraq as the new platoon mascot. Sgt. vetoed that idea pretty hastily. "no, we do not need any more dogs over here, please." - to which I took the opportunity to drag a little affection out of him - "well then maybe I'll just ship myself to Iraq as long as it's away from the dogs." "yes. now THAT I could handle."

I'll post pictures up as soon as I get them uploaded.

Other than all that - same old thing. If I get word of his leave request ACTUALLY going through then I know what I'm doing with some of the next two paychecks... I'm going shopping!! :)

Oh! And one more bright side: I got to hear Sgt. laugh yesterday :) it's been so long since I heard him sincerely laugh at something I said :), it felt really good.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008


Can I just say....


being in this relationship while he's deployed ......

it feels like I'm stuck in perpetual dissapointment.

*sigh* there is just no bright side in this one.... sorry bud, when you apologize for not calling AGAIN when you said you would... I'm not going to say "it's ok" I'm going to say "yeah, thanks."

Monday, March 17, 2008

More lists

Ok, ok, I'll admit it - I am a part of the social networking phenomenon that is Facebook and Myspace. Generational I suppose. Hello my name is KJ and I am addicted to social networking sites. "Hi KJ" says the masses.... don't lie, I know you have one too :). That's all beside the point, the point of THIS post is that through one of those social networking sites I've joined a group for other Army girlfriends like myself. At first I was just doing it for the sake of joining groups.... completely unintentional that I actually became an active member of said group and furthermore met some really great women who've been a big support!

In the aforementioned group there was a thread started entitled "You know he's deployed when:" Today it was back at the top of the list which meant that someone had added to it. I went to the thread, just wondering what the update was and began reading all of the posts from the very beginning. I guess I hadn't remembered that I posted a few myself from time to time. (a few is an understatement).

Here is a list of my favorite "You know he's deployed when:" from yours truly. (Remember, all of these are ones I posted specifically about Sgt. at different times through his deployment.)


You Know He's Deployed When:

1.When you STILL don't enjoy mango's as much as the first time you had them... because the first time you had them he made you breakfast and you sat together on the couch eating some.

2. When you go to the airport and it seems to be national "fly in your ACU's" day, and you wish that everyone who walked past you in ACU's was him... including that really butch woman you saw.

3. When the words "well when I get home." have never sounded so sweet.

4. When your camera becomes permanently attached to your hand and you feel like you have to chronicle each event so he doesn't feel like he's missing out on anything. Including childish things like "my first time making a snow man!" or "my first slice of real NY pizza!" (yeah I really took a picture of that...)

5. When you can pack a flat rate box like a champ... you're also really good at filling out customs forms... you could do it with your eyes closed.

6. When you always stop by the card aisle each time you're in wal-mart to stock up on more cards to send to him... you know he's been deployed for longer when there are NONE, ZERO "I miss you" or "thinking of you" cards that you haven't sent. not only make sure to look for news on him but on anyone in his unit!

8. You find a news article on Sgt. and you immediately save a copy of it, then forward the link to the article to anyone who has ever heard you talk about him :) You are so unbelievably proud.

9. The thing that excited you most about that article was not necessarily the fact that it was about him... but that his words were quoted... you could almost hear his voice... and the picture they posted with it was the first picture you've seen that was taken of him since he left in March.

10. You order his favorite drink at Starbucks because you miss him... but you still would rather have been drinking yours since you don't like his all that much and that makes you miss him MORE because dang it, if he was here, then you could've gotten your drink, he could've gotten his... AND you wouldn't miss him so much! Problem solved.

11. He's normally a tough guy, but you can tell when he's having one of those "really missing you days" from how many exclamation points he's using (I miss you!!!!!!) or how many words he capitalizes (I MISS you SO much!!!) :)... oh, and you're also really glad to know he's missing you terribly.

12. Your family asks how he's doing but when you start going into specifics about "he's doing good, still in tents and the MWR on their FOB isn't all that great, the DFAC isn't too far though which is good but they're out at their COP a lot of the time so he is usually eating MRE's .... " they just give you a blank stare. They don't understand anything you just said.

13. You read the letter he wrote to you before you go to sleep, but you don't need to cause you have it memorized.. you just like looking at his handwriting and feeling the grooves of the pen marks because it was something he held.

14. When at the Christmas eve church service, the pastor says "...and we pray that you will keep our service men and women around the world..." and you start to tear up.

15. When the night before Christmas eve, you had a dream that he showed up to church for Christmas eve service as a surprise for you, and then the next night while you're waiting for the service to start, you keep looking around... then you finally realize what you're doing... you know he's not there, but you're looking for him anyway.

16. When you laugh at your step-mom for asking if he had the day off on Christmas... no, he didn't. Apparently the terrorists didn't get the memo.

17. When he sends you an e-mail apologizing for not being here for *insert holiday/occasion* and attaches another, of many, i.o.u's for a great big hug.

18. When he is practicing playing canasta on his computer in Iraq so that when he comes home, you two can partner up and beat the crap out of his other family members :).

19. When you have 5 different phone numbers for him, one is a Skype phone, one is his Iraqna cell, one is his AFES calling card, one is his Noblecom calling card and one is his former number from when he was home.. just in case.

20. Speaking of numbers... you know he's deployed when you have a 37 digit number memorized! (that includes the calling card number, the pin number, then his number with country code, area code, and number... sheesh)

21. He feels like he has to apologize for being gone for holidays.... when really, you're just sorry you couldn't be there for HIM.

22. You FINALLY get to see each other on web cam and you, the person who NEVER shuts up, is almost speechless because 1. He looks SO good you can almost feel those arms around you, 2. You are trying to figure out a way to jump through the screen.

23. When care packages meant for a holiday (Christmas, valentines day, Easter whatever...) are planned at least a month in advance.

So there you have it... another list :). Made me laugh. Feel free to add your own words of wisdom!

Thursday, March 13, 2008

The list.

Last week I was reading one of the blogs I frequent and was pretty intrigued by her post. (Army) Wife posted a blog that included a list of things she'd like to accomplish before she dies. I have one of these lists also. It's long though. I tend to add to it from time to time and so it doesn't seem like I ever cross much off, but I'm working on it :).

I thought for a couple of days about putting some things from my list on here but then decided that the point of my blog isn't so much about me (although I do discuss my life sans Army/Deployment/Sgt. from time to time) but about me and Sgt. and how I'm sort of dealing and surviving and even on occasion kicking ass through this deployment :). So with the original idea in mind and throwing a little bit of my own blogger purpose in here, I've made a list of things I want to accomplish during the rest of this deployment. Here we go! In no particular order.

1. I want to send Sgt. at least ONE book that he's never read before that he also enjoys. I've been sending him books by his favorite author but he's already read them all! I've threatened Nicholas Sparks books from here on out... I might follow through :).

2. I want to discover the mystery that is the FRG online... I've got access, I can log in and look at stuff but it seems like they don't really keep up with it. Surely I am not the only family member (significant other... someone other than spouse personnel) who is interested in knowing whats going on who doesn't live OCONUS. Maybe one day they'll, I don't know, post a newsletter up?

3. I want to figure out exactly where he is on a map. How can I know the name of the outpost, the name of the district, the name of the FOB but not find a map in existence with this information on there. I would even settle for knowing it's X distance from this place and Y distance from this place and closest to Z.

4. I want to convince Sgt. that writing another letter back home, in his own handwriting is a FANTASTIC idea.

5. I want to get really really good at Guitar Hero 3 on hard so that way when he comes home I will actually be able to follow through with our bet.

6. I want to be able to run 3 miles and then go jogging and beat him when he comes home.

7. I want to get my window fixed on my car before he gets home and makes fun of me :)

8. I want to think up a really great birthday gift and surprise him with it... something he would never expect. (anyone know how much it costs to ship yourself to Iraq?)

9. I want to pay off my credit card

10. I want to figure out a way to get him to WANT to send more pictures home.

11. I want to get the courage to say hello to some of the wives of the men he's serving with....

12. I want to plan a surprise evening for him when he's home on R&R... what to do what to do.

13. I want to sign up for an outrageous event. Skydiving, bungee jumping, or triathlon.

14. I want to learn an amazing recipe for home-made granola bars and finally send him something home-made that isn't incredibly bad for you.

15. I want to save enough money to be able to go over to your homecoming ceremony... even if we decide I shouldn't.

Well I suppose that'll do for now. Nothing really outrageous on there but if any of you more experienced out there have suggestions or want to add to your own list, by all means!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Dog sitting.

Well today is the day I start my adventure in dog sitting. Their owners are on a 2 week vacation to New Zealand and asked if I wouldn't mind house sitting, dog sitting and plant sitting for a little while. I don't have much else going on so I said "sure!" Maybe if nothing else this will assuage my desire to get a dog. The way these two puppies are spoiled it wouldn't surprise me! Kind of like the whole babysitting episode reaffirmed my hold off on having children until later in life.

I went over to their house yesterday evening so they could show me where everything was and tell me about the dogs routines.... yes they have a "routine." I will most DEFINITELY be taking pictures of this little adventure and posting them. These two bundles of fur are not necessarily my type of dog, but they're cute in their own respects. Stay tuned for more on the adventures of KJ, Cricket, and Tooter. The human, the shitzu, and the westie. - Apparently Cricket only sleeps in bed with you, not in his own bed.... we will have to just see about that.


In other news, I think I have decided that I want to train for a triathlon. A girl at work asked me today if I would train with her for the one she's planning on doing in May and I thought that sounded like a fun idea. She actually told me I should sign up as well but I don't think I'll be ready in May.... I figure if I'm going to do this, I want to make sure I plan ahead. Seeing as my birthday is in August, I decided that August and my birthday would be a great goal to shoot for. I'm not 100% on it yet... but I enjoy working towards goals, and I've never done a triathlon so... why not? Haven't even mentioned it to Sgt. yet but I know he'll be encouraging.

Sgt. is doing good! Lots of e-mails back and forth lately but haven't talked to him on the phone since... well... whenever the last time I posted on here that I talked to him was. Is it bad that I lose track of that? *shrugs* I figure it's easier this way rather than losing my mind. There has been more talk of moving his R&R up till even SOONER that the sooner one. (Did that make sense?) I must admit, while "excited" and "ecstatic" were very clear emotions I felt upon hearing of this possibility "anxious" and "nervous" were also both very prevalent.

That's so... soon.

I know that sounds like a weird comment to make and please don't misunderstand IF it does happen sooner then YAY! I would be thrilled! Overjoyed! I'd see him YESTERDAY if I could... but when you haven't seen someone in over a year.... I think it's normal to be a little bit nervous. Are things going to be awkward? Will he still feel the same way? Will it be hard to readjust? Will I be able to say goodbye again? The answer is probably yes to all of them in some way or another. I'm trying not to get my hopes up. I know nothing is ever guaranteed until he's actually here, I'm still planning on the further, original leave date and if it happens sooner than it's just an extra blessing.

Frankly, as long as he comes home safe, I'll wait as long as I need to.

For lunch today I had one of our favorite meals and was listening to my iPod when one of our favorite songs came on. I missed him. I went into my e-mail and reread some of the e-mails I've saved of his. I'm not having a bad day or even a sad day really, just miss him :-). Wish he was here to pick on or to go jogging with or to cook dinner for. I think people don't realize it's the little things that you miss the most when they're gone for so long. No worries though. :-) I'm glad I still have him to miss.

I'll keep y'all posted on the dog sitting situation... is it crazy that I'm a little bit scared that I might LITERALLY sit on one of them? They're so small!!

Oh - and exciting news!!
The post office now offers a larger (50% larger) Flat rate box and are offering a discounted price for shipment to an FPO or and APO. YAY! Thanks USPS.

Still no word on the package arriving in Iraq yet, and we'll have to wait until Easter to see if the Cascarones made it there safely. I don't know what I was thinking sending them.... I highly doubt they'll still be in tact but hey, it's worth a shot right?! :-)

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Easter goes Army green.

Yesterday I went shopping for Sgt.'s Easter package. (One for every holiday also remember :) ). Now, I don't claim to be very old, I'm in my twenties... that doesn't really speak volumes about life experience in relative terms. I know that, I acknowledge it. However, I am now confident enough to use the term "Well back in my day" or "When I was your age" - especially after my stint through Wally World last night.

Back in my day, we had Easter baskets. That's it. Just baskets. I never had an Easter bucket, a cloth and collapsible Easter pail or an Easter dump truck. When we hunted eggs in the back yard, we hunted plastic multi colored eggs of the blue, green, red, pink, yellow, orange variety. These eggs were filled with jelly beans, pennies, those large hump looking candies that were different colors and white in the middle. I'm still not exactly sure what they were. Imagine my surprise when I went to pick up some things to put in Sgt.'s Easter package and I see CAMO EASTER EGGS. Yes - you read that correctly. Of course they are still of the old BDU variety camo, not the new digital we've become accustomed to but camo they are indeed. Easter has also become mindful of the current conflict, for they have both jungle camo and desert camo. YES I did get them. I could NOT pass up camo Easter eggs for my soldier. It's just too funny. I wander a little further down the aisle and I spot camo Easter buckets and camo Easter grass... a plethora of Military friendly Easter decor. I refrained from creating an entire camo package... although I will admit it was tempting.

It wasn't only the camo colored eggs that surprised me. Easter has become so high speed!! I swear, I saw a package of glow in the dark Easter eggs complete with accompanying flashlights for those families who just can't fit in an egg hunt in the light of day. Easter candy has become somewhat of an industry boom as well! I've never seen so much pastel colored and bunny shaped candy in my life! The Super Wal-Mart had to devote TWO AISLES for this Easter sensation... I can't imagine kids would have survived Easter back in my day. Of course we didn't know any different and we were still thrilled with grass stained dyed eggs and 62 pennies and that weird unknown candy.

After getting some Easter themed treats I strolled on over to the card aisle to get an Easter card because, I can't imagine what my soldier in Iraq would do without an Easter card. The thought nearly brings tears to my eyes. :). Should I have been shocked at the amount of sexually charged Easter cards? Maybe not... I don't ever remember seeing so many but I suppose I never really looked. I got two cards because I just couldn't resist. The funny card says "The Easter bunny is so kind, always passing out candy with that big grin on his face..." on the outside, then you open it up and it says "Well if I was having sex 12 times a day I'd be happy too!!" - hilarious.

Of course all of this stuff pretty much misses the point of Easter in it's entirety. I know how I feel about it, but I'll leave you to your own opinions.

All in all it was a successful trip. Tonight I'll get to pack his two care packages and get them off before the weekend gets here. The same requests were made as last time. At least this time around I knew exactly which gas station to go to for those ranch flavored sunflower seeds :). The person behind the counter just gave me a weird look and began counting out the 14 bags of sunflower seeds.... I didn't explain lol.

I wish I could see him open those camo colored eggs though :) In fact, I think I'm gana keep one.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Word Cloud!

Oh my goodness... I just figured out how to add pictures to my blogs! Amazing. Two of the blogs I frequent, Trying our Best and USO Girls, put up word clouds so I thought that Cabin Fever needed one as well! This nifty web site searches your blog for words you frequently use and then arranges them in alphabetical order. People can come up with some pretty awesome things :). Enjoy the word cloud folks!
** oh man... my links all worked as well! I'm impressed with myself :).

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Horses, maintenence workers, timelines, and other things that are dangerous.

This past weekend was pretty eventful. Well, if you call getting bucked off a horse eventful, most people would so I figured I'd classify it as such. Also, the maintenance man saw me in my underwear when I so carelessly opened the door to take out the trash early Saturday morning in a tank top and boy cut undies. It wouldn't have been so bad had he not openly and without abandon looked me up and down and smiled. Creepers. Oh well... such is life :).

The horse story goes like this: Saturday I invited Sgt.'s cousins out to go horseback riding with me. They really enjoy riding but hadn't been in years and since I love to ride and have been working with some of the horses out here I figured it would be fun for all of us! They came out and it was great! We all DID have a lot of fun. I've been working with a one eyed horse trying to get him used to that blind side and I suppose Saturday he had just had about enough of it. Had he ever given me cause for thinking otherwise I might have been more prepared (although I should've just been prepared anyway) but this was the first time he even crow-hopped on me, let alone actually bucked. Anyway, long story short, I was thrown off and landed with an impressive thud. No harm done. A few bruises and one very sore knee are about as serious as it gets. Got back up, Sgt.'s cousin chased down my horse (who then proceeded to trot back off to the stables... jerk), caught him, I got back on and we continued our riding. I would normally make some funny cliche comment here about when you fall off a horse you just have to get back on, or maybe something about Texans and horses but I'm not just channeling anything tonight. Sorry folks :). All is well, it's not the first time and I'm sure it won't be the last.

Later that evening I spent some time with Sgt.'s cousin. She is really more like his big sister than his cousin, and she's a good person to turn to when I might need a little extra boost in support or understanding. She's very honest, which is one of the reasons I like her so much, she won't sugar coat things. We had a great visit, just talked and she was able to give me a little bit of clarity into a deployment (being prior service herself and remembering how Sgt. was on his last one) and how certain things are to be expected. It was a detailed conversation, that I won't go into now but I will say that I walked away from it feeling lighter, yet stronger. They're such good people.

The past couple days I have been at a conference for work. I've really really enjoyed it!! The industry has such awesome people, everyone is so encouraging and kind, it's very inspiring. I didn't think with the way my schedule was today that I would even be able to e-mail Sgt. let alone talk to him, but it's funny how things work out :) I was able to do both!

Finally, a phone call after the failed "I'm tired" "well go to bed" conversation. What is that, a couple weeks? *sigh* I lose track. I try not to keep track of how long it's been for those types of things... it just makes me crazy. We got to talk for maybe 15 min and it was great! Just us, exactly how I like it to be. He's doing well, just really busy, is on a weird schedule right now but his morale seemed to be good which is important to me. He asked me what I thought about possibly moving his leave date up! Nothing is set in stone, and the way the Army works I probably wouldn't be at all surprised if tomorrow he said he wasn't even getting leave and then next week called me from the airport. Apparently someone wants to trade or something? I wasn't exactly positive, I just know we were discussing it because although seeing him earlier than planned would be an amazing and welcomed blessing... I also work at a job where summer IS 80% of my job. It would be hard taking off the time from work, even though I think my employers would be understanding. In the end though it all boiled down to, he's got the harder position, so I told him to do what he needed to do and I would figure out a way to make it work. I love it when he asks my opinion or for my input on things like this though. It would be very easy for him to say "she'll make it work" but instead he cares enough to ask if it's ok... to ask how it might affect me, even if it's not something he has a lot of control over (specific dates and such). I love that. At this point it's kind of a wait and see sort of thing. Either way will be fine with me! :)

Oh - and the other thing that is dangerous - giving blood. Don't get me wrong, I love to donate blood, and do it every 8 weeks... but every time, my arm/vein hurts for like 3-4 days afterwards. I think next time I'll give them the other arm.