Veterans Day

I wrote this last year sort of out of the blue for a Veterans Day blog. I hadn't planned it out, I just sat down one morning trying to say thank you, and out came a poem that I'm pretty proud of, but more importantly, others were able to connect with. I thought it appropriate to post it again, just because it still rings so true.

Today Sgt. is home, and he will be coming up to my school today to talk to my class about Veterans :). We've come so far over the last two years, and I thank God every day that he came home safe. I wish there was a way to convey how much I appreciate the man that he is... and I suppose this poem is about as close as I've ever gotten :) I hope you all enjoy.


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He has these incredible blue eyes that change depending on what he's wearing - and I'm sure they've seen things.

His lips are delectable to kiss and never fail to spill out words that are capable of making me melt. They tell me he loves me and he misses me. They laugh with me and sometimes at me. They carry his voice, with it's southern draw and smooth depth. - they have also given orders. They speak Arabic. His lips have been thirsty and dry from time spent in a thirsty and dry place.

His ears remember to listen when I have a story to tell. They allow me to complain, or to swoon, or to chatter without protest. - But I'm sure they've heard gunshots, I'm sure they've heard mortars, and they have also listened to soldiers who are weary or tired.

His hands are strong and never fail to fit perfectly in mine. They can sweep hair out of my eyes, wipe a tear, and give some of the most amazing hugs - yet they have also held a weapon for protection.

His shoulders are firm, and they are always there to rest my arms on should I be in the mood for a piggy back ride or to lay my head on when I am tired - they've carried ruck sack after ruck sack, and have held up his IBA for long hours.

His arms can envelop me. They are my favorite. Even the markings on him encompass a memory for me, of us, and where we started - and they have also help lift and carry supplies, prepared for missions, handed out humanitarian aides, and held the Iraqi baby who made him laugh during his interview which gave me the first glimpse of his chuckle in what had been far too long.

His Legs have chased me around the room over a cupcake, and his feet have kept mine warm late at night when the covers don't help. They walk with confidence as he circles around the car to open my door... every time. - yet his legs have also worn dirty ACU's and his feet heavy boots. They have been up and going for many hours on patrol and have sustained their fair share of abuse from the daily grind of deployment, and war.

There is no one quite like him. Yet there are many like him.

Here and there, it is always him, and he will always been my hero. For all that he has sacrificed, and all he claims he hasn't, for his humble heart and tendency to want to evade any hoopla over his service, for EVERYTHING he has done to serve his country, I am so proud.

Happy Veterans Day!

What to do

Sgt. just left for work so it gives me some free time to be a computer bum. I mean, I could be a computer bum while he's here but he's just too much fun to hang out with. Since I already cleaned the apartment last night while he was in the field until midnight... I am back to my blog.

To be honest, I have been thinking about my blog a lot lately. What to do with it? It's not really that I don't have blog worthy events happening in my life... there are lots and lots of really gushy and cheesy moments throughout the day that I love bragging about. Teaching gives me an entire book full of silly stories and quotes. We even have a bad day around here from time to time! I could blog about Tennessee more and how I'm adjusting, but to be honest... there wasn't really any adjusting... I really just fell into this place so nicely and comfortably that the story is really very short. I could blog about the rain.

Did you know that it has rained here EVERY DAY for the last TWO WEEKS.... I haven't seen REAL sunshine in two weeks folks! Did you know that Texas, my old home, had 90 consecutive days without rain this year.... now there IS an adjustment.

Honestly though, the great, wonderful, and mushy moments - although happen all the time, every day - they seem either too personal, something I just want to share with him, or they seem too braggy. It's silly, but this blog for me was always an outlet. Sure I had my moments when I just talked about my day or what was going on, but the majority of it, and most of my best writing took place when either I couldn't talk to Sgt. because of the deployment, or didn't want to talk to him because we were going through rough stages.

Now that we are on a completely different level of communication, and now that every day with him just gets better and better, and now that he is the person I always run to to tell every story good or bad... I just don't need my blog like I used to. I miss some of the friendships I felt I developed through the blog, and I really WISH I had this compulsion to blog like I used to but it's not there like it used to be. I still love reading everyone's and really enjoy going back through mine to relive some of those moments or to see how far we've come, but the parts of our life that I feel deep down really are extraordinary, can never be explained the right way through writing it down, so I just don't.

So, what to do now. I have thought about closing my blog for good. I've thought about starting up a public one for our family and friends to keep up with us, since thankfully this blog is still unknown by most of the people in our life. I've even thought about trying to just blog about the silly everyday stuff. I think I would enjoy it if I could get into it. Maybe that's all I need to do, just get used to this different type of blogging now that our life isn't in a constant state of warp speed :). Because boy do I LOVE the everyday with him. The silly, normal, constant that is us and our life right now.

Awesome August

Well blogging time again around Cabin Fever huh?

August has really been a fantastic month for us! Here are some of the highlights:

-Sgt. is now officially "Air Assault" stamped after passing the 10 day course (*cough* two weeks *cough* - off on Sunday's + Travel) with flying colors :) It was shockingly our biggest separation since moving to Tennessee 6 months ago (yes, it's been that long, crazy huh?!) but we did just fine :)

-Sgt. and I also celebrated his "One year home" date and my Birthday! All from Air Assault school of course. My Birthday is the only "holiday" that we have consecutively missed together every year we've been dating. Oh well, small price to pay. I know it could be worse

-While Sgt. was away my best friend from Texas came up for a week long visit! It was a blast getting to tour Music City together, and also really wonderful to have a little piece of Texas here for a while.

-Also while Sgt. was away, I was able to do a little DIY home decorating project. Sgt. is an amazing photographer, and has a hard drive full of these pictures he's taken from all over the world just sitting there. We had a massive blank wall in our living room above the couch that was screaming for something to be done to it, but we just aren't in a position to spend hundreds of dollars on art or decor. So I picked out three of my favorites, one from Texas, one from Rome, and one from Iraq (I believe... it's a sunset) and strolled on over to Kinkos. Did you know they will print black and white copies, we're talking BIG ones, for about 3 bucks? Yep. So the biggest expense was three large frames from a local craft store. That, some photos and a little spray paint and voila! Three beautiful black and white framed pieces of art in classy deep red frames (which match our throw pillows) For about fifty bucks total. I was proud of myself :) this DIY thing is kind of cool!

-My very good friend and fellow military girlfriend Re, who I've blogged about before, jumped ship from the ranks and is now a Fiance! I am so excited for them both and can't wait to do all the girlie wedding talk with her over the next year :). He has since deployed and they're planning for a wedding when he returns.

As I'm running through my mind I think that's everything! All is fabulous around here :)

about that time

It's interesting to think what my life would be like today with just a few short shifts in fate.

Recently a very close friend of mine, who also happens to be an Army Girlfriend, gave me some bad news. Her soldier applied for the same program Sgt. was accepted into and he was rejected. Granted, it's not like free candy, and Sgt. worked his butt off not only on the packet for the application but his entire Army career which set the file that was eventually granted acceptance. Since my friends soldier was not accepted, he will be deploying very soon for the second time.

Last deployment we were going through it together. Our deployments overlapped so as her soldier was coming home, Sgt. still had a few months left in country, but still... we went through it together.

It's true what they say, about the bond forged between women who have a loved one deployed. I couldn't have imagined a quicker or stronger friendship.

I'm sad that the cards didn't work out for her the same way, it's just another reminder at how blessed I truly am to be in the situation I'm in.

Sgt. would be training up right now. Getting ready for his third deployment. I would be getting ready as well, preparing myself, as much as you can anyway, for our long separation. Would our relationship be as strong as it is now? Would I ever have gotten the privilege to wake up next to him every morning? Would he still be in Germany, and us still only able to see each other once every 6 months or so? There's no telling really.

With three years left in our in-between Army world I'm resolved to enjoy every moment. Will it make it harder down the road? Maybe. How will I feel during our second deployment together when he's been home and close for so long? So much can happen in that amount of time... just look whats happened in a year! The entire course of our lives, our relationship, shifted because a series of very fortunate events. Or maybe, maybe it was always supposed to be this way. I'm typically a big believer in that. The other side to the coin is that this year has gone by so fast... I find myself wondering how fast the next three will be.

I'm so grateful to have what we have together. When I started blogging half way through Sgt.'s deployment over a year ago... I never imagined I'd be here. Now I know anything is possible :) good and bad of course... which is why the here and now is so wonderful.

I don't wish Sgt. was deploying again right now, although from time to time I think he does. No matter where he is or what he's doing, he is a soldier to his core... and I see that. I am not hurt or surprised that he would long for his work and his duty. I do wish though, that I could be there for my friend as I was before. Not just someone who's "been there" but someone who was there at that exact same moment. This may sound weird to say, and I'm sure it won't come out exactly how I feel it but, there is a certain pride that comes with saying "My boyfriend? He's deployed. Yes I miss him, but we take it a day at a time. I'm proud of him. The waiting isn't so bad" of being able to say we did it, we made it. If I had to pick a positive about a deployment, I suppose that's the one I'd choose. It doesn't make me miss him less when he's gone, and it doesn't make any of it any easier, but it does give you a warm fuzzy from time to time.... and everyone can use one of those.

He could be working long hours and getting ready for his third trip to the other side of the world. Instead, he will be home in a few hours from work, and he'll wake me up off the couch or in bed if I can make it, and he'll kiss me goodnight.... and our life will continue on this course it's meant to be on.

I just think it's necessary from time to time to remember how I could just as easily be saying:

He's working long hours and he's getting ready for his third trip to the other side of the world. He'll call in a few hours to say goodnight, and I love you... and our life will continue on this course it's meant to be on.

Oh, you're ganna want to hear this one

Here is a story of how our first car buying experience together went....

The back story here is that my poor Protege came to an early end when she was rear-ended back in May. The car was totalled and my dreams of continuing to not have a car payment seemed teetery at best.

In reality, getting hit was probably a blessing because my transmission was going out anyway and getting the settlement for the totalled car would help us purchase a new one...which was coming anyway.

We decided to purchase the salvage title for my car thinking "Hey, it still runs, at least this will give us time to shop around for the best deal" and it ended up giving us about two weeks.... last week the transmission started failing on me and we have to jump start my poor girl to life every morning so we have been frantically searching for another car.

I have never had to purchase a car before, my first and second car (the only two I've ever owned) were both given to me by my parents so I have been very lucky to have someone else do the dirty work. Sgt. spent the entire week searching through private vehicle listings and discussing with me what I was looking for and what I would love, because he wanted so badly to make me happy and to also get me something that would be a good deal.

He really was a life saver in all of this. I don't know what I would have done without him. I tend to deal with stress in the "Ostrich method" When I see it coming I walk along until it gets so close I stick my head in the sand hoping it will disappear and then I have a breakdown (much like sitting in front of the computer crying after looking at cars online for 4 hours) and THEN I am able to attack. Once all my other defenses are spent.

Sgt. on the other hand, deals with stress in the "Cat method." You know that poster where the kitty is barely hanging onto the tree limb? Stress pushes at him and he pushes back. Hard. He will dig his claws in without a second thought and attack head on. Which he did in this situation and I am immensely grateful.

Like many things in life, he is my rock, and this was no different.

We were getting into a situation we didn't want to be in, which was NEEDING to buy a car SOON. We decided on getting a cash car. Using the money we got from my car being totalled and searching for a good deal. Just something reliable that will get me to and from my 40-min-one-way commute and something I would like.

Then we come to this weekend. And we do NOTHING but look at cars, and talk about cars, and sigh with frustration about cars, and maybe a few tears on my part about cars, and call people about cars, and lower our standards on cars... blah blah blah.

It's Sunday now.

Sgt. worked from 11pm - 8am. He came home and we ate a donut together, and he slept for ONLY an hour and a half. Then he woke up and got back to helping me search for cars. We called 4 different people yesterday morning leaving messages. We went and looked at one car which was owned by a typical former used car salesman who was really wanting us to pay WAY over KBB value for a car with a bad transmission. No thank you.

Then we find this car.

This car on craigslist which is posted by a father selling the car for his deployed son. His deployed mechanic son. His deployed mechanic son who just replaced this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and this on the car before deploying. His deployed son who just replaced this, this, this, this, this, this, this, and this on the car and then had the radio stolen out of the car while it was in the hold lot. His deployed son who just replaced all this and then had the unfortunate luck to have his radio stolen out of the car by some other soldier. His deployed son who just replaced all this, had his radio stolen, and who also has the difficult situation of having his young wife at home who really needs to sell the car because she needs the money.

and our hearts swell with the hope of helping another soldier and his family while still getting something we need.

And we EVEN asked to get his APO address so we could send him a care package.

Because after Sgt. had only slept 2 hours in over 24 and I was at my wits end looking at cars and we DID find a car that drove better than anything else we looked at, we didn't question the story. We didn't really think about all the details lining up. We bought the car at KBB listed value and drove home happy as clams. After a night of sleep, a weird feeling, and highly tuned facebook/myspace/and AKO white page stalking skills.... we find out the real story.

The unit his son belongs to just got BACK from Afghanistan, they're not deployed nor deploying. And the guy listed on the title, the "Army Mechanic Son", in fact states his job as an infantry man in the training room.... not a mechanic at all. It looks like he and his wife just got married. If he was married when he deployed (as he said he was) why would his car be in the hold lot on post? But hey, still could've gotten broken into, right? But there is no sign of forced entry. Then again, the car was probably in housing since he was married (if he was) and if it was in housing it's still likely that his wife could have left her door unlocked and some poor soul just opened the door and took their stereo. However, whoever did that really took their time clipping all of the wires off so you can easily install a new stereo with an install kit. (thinking, they wanted to keep their radio... how about you?)

So yeah. We got dooped. On the "deployed solider in a bad way" story. The only things that really make me mad are 1. those details are things we KNOW.... but we just trusted because it sounded like a worthy cause and we were tired. 2. It makes Sgt. feel like he failed me in some sort of way and he didn't. He was my life saver and God-send in all of it. 3. I was going to send a really good care package. I was looking forward to it.

Do I still like the car even though the people I bought it from are less than honest? Yes. Especially if it works exactly the way they said. Do I think I paid a fair price for it? Yeah... I probably would've offered him a little lower but I didn't want to low ball some soldiers wife so I just offered KBB value and took it. What probably happened is they wanted to sell their 98 Toyota Camry but weren't able to easily around Ft. Campbell because all of those soldiers just got back and soldiers who just got back from deployment are usually much more eager to jump in to something they can spend their hard earned extra cash on. So in the end I suppose I still got an ok deal... and we came out the good guys which I'm always ok with.

That's alright though. Luckily, I'm in love with a man who actually is connected to the Army and was a deployed NCO, and knows better. Spc. will get a call later on to make sure he's not running some kind of scam. And to make sure that my newly purchased car isn't going to blow up this week.

Some people. I swear.