And if for no other reason, that one is good enough.
Sgt. called. So no, we didn't quite make it to our two weeks. Truth is, I was dying for him to call anyway, I missed having him there. Sgt. is my best friend, the person I want to talk to as soon as anything happens. On top of that, I am in love with the man. Not getting to share things with him or having him a part of my life, hurt. The day before I had finally decided that no matter what, I would be just fine, that I loved him enough to let him go if that's really what he needed, but darn it, I just wanted him back in my life! I just wanted to tell him that I spilled coffee all over myself trying to rush out the door in the morning!
We talked a lot. I mean, phone on the side of the face is really hot, a lot. Phone battery is dying, a lot. However, I promised that I would keep the details of our conversation just between us and I have in all the other areas of my life, as I will here.
We agreed that we wanted to keep trying. That we're not perfect, and that there are things we can and will work on. We both need to communicate with each other more and there are places in our relationship where we need to figure out a balance, as we react on very opposite ends of the spectrum to the same situation. But I think, that our faith in each other, the love that we share, and our willingness and desire to figure it out will make everything come back together and grow stronger with time.
He loves me, and I love him. Good and bad, past, present, and future - he's what I want. I know it will take some time. We won't be able to just jump back in and pretend none of this happened, it did happen, and we'll allow it to be a part of our story together.
As much as I hated our time apart, and he did as well, looking back on it I think it was necessary. Not in every relationship, (and I certainly won't propose it as a solution the next time we argue because if it happens again it becomes a problem in itself, not a solution) but we needed to look at our relationship with each other as one piece of an otherwise large puzzle. Everything else that is going on in our lives, with reintegration and with school and with work and with the distance... it's all a piece of the puzzle, but what WE have together, what we are to each other, is something that we stopped looking at individually and we needed a harsh reminder. It wasn't fun, but sometimes the necessary isn't.
We're planning on seeing each other in about a week and I can't wait! The last time we were holding each other it felt like my heart was tearing apart, and I look forward to replacing that last memory with a better one. With one as us starting another chapter, completely in love and completely determined. Neither of us knows the answers, but we're willing to figure them out together, with each others help... and I couldn't ask for more than that. :)
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