Sunday, April 13, 2008

So this is what this feels like...

AFTER OVER 400 DAYS HE COULD BE HERE IN LESS THAN A MONTH!!!

I was totally going to start this blog off so that it escalated into the big, exciting news but I couldn't hold it in anymore.

We don't have dates yet, but hopefully very very soon!

He called on Friday and we got to talk for over an hour, gosh that was great! The short version is Top asked him if he was still wanting the time he put in for leave, Sgt. said yes, and Top said "ok, well I have the extra dates so it shouldn't be a problem" Sgt. even sounded confident about it, which is slightly unusual. Not that he's not confident, trust me, he IS, but he's usually very careful to remind me "it's nothing for sure yet..." or "don't get your hopes up." This time though he sounded so excited and we talked about things he wants to do! This feeling is just indescribable.

I'm completely overjoyed, incredibly apprehensive, slightly anxious, overcome with excitement and I have the strong and unavoidable desire to clean everything thoroughly and buy new bedding. (although I have a slight obsession with buying new sheets... it's a terrible spending habit) My man is coming HOME! Whooo hoooo :)! Not for good yet, this is just for leave, but that doesn't even matter at this point... all that matters is that he's going to be able to come home, that I'm going to be able to touch him, that we can stop at Starbucks together, that he can hold me while I fall asleep.

It seems so unreal. We talked about that part of it. I'm so excited to hear the news but at the same time, it's sort of out of my grasp. It doesn't seem real... if that makes sense. How can that be? After so long, not much longer? When did "eventually" turn into "soon"? He said he felt the same way, but that it was still a good feeling. I've been doing the long distance and long wait for so long, I'm a little ill equipped for this portion of it. Just something new to learn I suppose :). And boy am I friggin ready to learn it!! haha.

We talked about the me going to the airport to pick him up. One of the many things I love about our relationship is we constantly have the same idea running through our minds at the same moment... it's not something that we've just learned as we've been together, it's been happening to us since we first started dating, we're just really in tune with each other.

I wasn't going to bring it up yet, not till we got dates but when I said "so... how's your room mate doing?" he wasn't buying it.

"Just say what you wana say darlin'"
"What are you talking about?"
"How long have I known you?"
"mm... a good while now"
"right, and how many hours do you think we've spent total talking on the phone or in person?"
"I don't even want to know... thousands."
"Right. The only time you ever try and fill silence with pointless conversation is when you're avoiding talking about what you really want to talk about, so just say it"
"You're crazy, I don't know what the heck you're talking about"
"mmhhmm... well I'm just gana sit here and wait for you to say it"
"Fine. *audible sigh* It's not a big deal, I had just been thinking and, if you really want me to be there I will be but.... I was thinking it might be better if I didn't go with your family to pick you up from the airport... there's going to be a lot of people there already and everyone's going to want a piece of you, I've waited this long, a couple more hours isn't going to kill us."

I think more than anything I was worried that I would hurt his feelings by thinking that but, like usual, he had been thinking the same thing.

It's not that we don't want to see each other, it's just, it's not as glorious and romantic as I think it's sometimes made out to be. He's going to be tired and cranky from being on a plane for that long. 6 other people who have been waiting just as long and missing him just as much are all going to be vying for his attention. The drive home is an hour and half, it's not really necessary that we all be crammed in the car forcing awkward and repeated questions into the air. It's not going to be this amazing moment for us... if anything it's going to be a let down from the common romanticized fantasy that is the "airport pickup." I just figured they could pick him up, and I could meet them all at the house when they get home. It would give him something else to look forward to anyway :). His idea was slightly different, he doesn't want anyone picking him up, he said he'd rather rent a car and have the hour and half to himself to decompress and just have that independence for a moment. That makes a lot of sense to me, and I can completely see why he'd want to do that. He even went so far as to say "I might not even tell anyone when I'll be coming home, I may just show up!" - I love surprises but... somehow I find it hard to believe that's going to happen, the guy doesn't even know how to get to my place now haha.

Who cares... as the song goes "I don't care how you get to me, just get to me"

If it was possible to miss him any more, I think after hearing the news that his leave was a very very real possibility, I do. C'mon R&R God's... don't take this one away... PLEASE!

4 comments:

Lindsay aka Corn

Oh that is so exciting! Tell him to keep an eye out for the huggin' and kissin' grandma's as he comes through DFW!

I'm sure he'll be rushing home to get to you, but the grandma's don't let anyone get by without a qwick hug!

Ms. Ambitious

Hi, I was dropping by military wives/gf's sites cause my DH is deploying next month and just wanted to see what others were going through. Wow...how exciting for you though. I cant wait to be in your position. :) Enjoy every minute of it!

trying

oooooooh i hope it all falls into place for you guys!

jlc

YAYAY!

You give me hope in the fact that there IS a light at the end of this suckhole tunnel.

Congrats on making your way towards surrealism. :)