Mattresses and Messenger

"Sorry babe, it's just been a long day and I'm finally laying on a real mattress. This is the first time since I left home and it's niiiiicccccceeeeee"

He continued the sentence with something alluding to the fact that it wasn't nearly as nice as getting to fall asleep with me, but it was still pretty nice. Right when he got back to Iraq and eventually to his new FOB we were talking on messenger and the MWR was about to close. We were saying our good nights and goodbyes and I must've said "Sleep good" because his response was something to the effect of "well it'll be on a cot in a tent with only an airline blanket and no KJ so it won't be a good sleep but it'll be sleep" - I could feel my heart break into about a million pieces. I just wanted to fix it, to be able to take care of him, and I could tell he was experiencing some homesickness... but there wasn't much I could do except tell him how much I wished I could fix it and how much I cared.

After finally getting back into the swing of things we're doing ok. He's been gone for about 11 days now and I'm, we're, ok. We miss each other, but we're not the type to be sad and mopey. Truth be told, I'm pretty busy with work, thankfully, so during the day I don't have a lot of time to think about it or dwell on it. At night though, when I'm back in my cabin and alone, when I'm wearing his undershirt to sleep in, when I'm going through text messages I saved from when he was here... I can feel his absence. Just like I told Sgt., it's not that I can't do things without him here. I still make my coffee, laundry got done without incident, but it's just better when he's here.

The first time I went to the laundry mat after he left I was bummed. I was bummed because the LAST time I was there, I was there with him, and I sorted clothes while he got the washers set and started. Then he put the clothes in the dryers and I went behind him and put dryer sheets in each one. While we were waiting on laundry to get done we talked and laughed and did silly things like race each other back inside. We were together and we were an efficient team!

I'm ok though :). Sgt. has been incredibly sweet since he's been gone. Both of us were nervous leading up to his R&R. We didn't date that long before he left for Germany and the majority of our relationship had been spent apart. We both wondered how we would react to one another. Now that R&R is over, we both agree 100% it was amazing and better than we could have ever hoped for. He's even (and I say he with a lot of emphasis here because I'm a little cautious about this type of thing... however that's a different story) been asking me questions like "if you could have your dream wedding what would it be like" not that that would be happening anytime soon but it's fun to talk about with each other, it's fun to think about :).

I was thinking that this whole completely sweet, charming, adoring thing would end a couple days after he got back, not because he doesn't feel that way, but just because he would be back in "soldier mode." So far, it hasn't though. I'm suspecting that once mission tempo picks up, the frequent messenger sessions and little surprise e-mails (when he's got 30 min. back on the FOB coming in from the COP) will slow down but I'm enjoying every. single. second. of it right now :). How could a girl not?

"I'm INCREDIBLY grateful to have you!!!!! you're beautiful, wonderful, and I'm very blessed. i know you've heard it, and you'll hear it again, but you can NEVER hear it enough! I miss you darlin'"

e-mail in between missions