So our e-mail disagreement, did actually turn into a decent argument. In the end it turns out we were basically saying the same thing and wanting the same thing - I did have to pull out the "thanks for making me cry jerk" card though to get him to actually elaborate. However, in the end, we pretty much agreed on everything. I survived our first e-mail fight. Yay me. Does this deserve like, a new dress? Or maybe some new shoes? ooohhh swimsuit season!!
It comes down to this - you choose to be in a relationship. You choose to be with someone. Of course this is only my perspective and it only pertains to boyfriend/girlfriend relationships as I have never been engaged or married, but it's a choice. And not one you only make once. You choose every day to work at it, to love someone, to be with someone. I think it's normal to have times where you think to yourself "do I really want this person in my life" - you look at all your options and then decide "yes, absolutely." I think this builds an incredible foundation for whatever may be in the future because in the most simplistic way it's saying "Yes, I want this. Yes, I want him. Yes, I want her." - it's not about feeling obligated it's about taking stock of everything and deciding that where you are and who you're with is the best decision for you.
He wants me :). And I want him. We choose each other. We choose this relationship, however hard it may be some days. That means more to me than having someone home or having someone else who is more available.
"The strongest principle of growth lies in the human choice." - George Eliot
That's how we move from one place to the other with each other... we make the choice and then grow together.
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I got goosebumps reading this, it is so very true. I think you are really lucky to have realized this now, as opposed to some people who truly never make this connection. A favorite quote of mine, that got me through some rough and confusing patches in our relationship back before we were engaged and I was unsure whether the military was conducive to my own goals/dreams was this:
A successful relationship requires falling in love over and over, many times. But always with the same person.
I'm sorry yall had to bicker to realize this, but wow, what a great point to be at!!
I completely agree! The BF and I just had this discussion last night! Yes there will be fights, and things are not always perfect. But everytime it happens you have to make the choice. Do I try to make this better? Or do I not care. When you stop caring is when you have a serious problem.
"Falling" in love implies that it is an accident. But when you STAY in love it is because of a concious choice.
Im glad yall worked out whatever it was and I think its great that you have such a good perspective. I think what you said about choosing things to be half the battle in life.
Over the past few weeks as the germies have invaded our house and flyboy is away I keep reminding myself that we did choose this lifestyle. Doesn't mean it always makes it is easier to swallow but its important to remember.
And I say go for shoes, something cute and springy.
What you just said was the best marriage advice I received. My Godmother told us at our reception that loving each other is a choice you make every single day. She was so correct. I don't think we'd have made it through two deployments now without knowing that we had such a strong connection and were both so committed to making it work.
Hang in there, you two will make it through and he'll be home soon for a little reprieve.
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