Tuesday, July 15, 2008

In this together.

I'm doing a little better in the "about to flip out and eat large quantities of chocolate" department. He's still there. But he's in a little bit better spirits which I think has helped me also. It's still frustrating and annoying, but what can you do?

I really think that the last month, or last few weeks, whatever time frame you're looking at, the end is the worst. That's been my experience anyway. It's almost like the whole deployment you tell yourself, "I'm going to be strong" "I'm going to make it through this" "Each day is one day closer" and then as their homecoming nears you start to let down the guard. You begin to plan and imagine things with him there. He will start talking about being excited to see you... how he's so impatient and can't wait! It's all a wonderful feeling, you're excited, you're looking forward to it being over. There is of course the anticipation and anxiety too, but homecoming seems to generally be a "feel good" sort of thing. However, once you allow yourself to head down that road, there is no turning back. That's it, you've admitted to yourself now how much you've missed him, how much you hated him being gone. No matter what you try and do, you can't go back to that "sustainment" period. You're eager now... you're impatient... "just get him home!"

The good part about all this is Sgt. is being very vocal about missing me and being so excited to come home. It's wonderful. What girl wouldn't want to hear that? He tells me how much he's looking forward to just doing simple things with me. He emphasizes how much he appreciates me and how often he thinks of me. The man says things like "I am so blessed that you're mine" He is always reminding me he thinks I'm beautiful... I'm a VERY VERY lucky girl. All of that is wonderful and I am so thankful that I have a man who isn't afraid to dote upon me every once in a while... but one of the sweetest things he's ever said came just yesterday.

He's never said this to me before and when I read it (seeing as it was over IM) a huge smile crossed my face and I had to pause for a moment to take it in. I was getting my chance to vent to him "The internet connection sucks babe, every time we talk it just ends abruptly... I just miss you is all..." and he was understanding and listened. He reassured me and then the time to say goodbye drew closer. I can always tell when he's about to have to get off the computer cause he'll just start saying pet names without anything attached. "Darlin'...." "yes?" "it's about that time" "ok" so we're saying our 'goodbye's' and our 'miss you's' and our 'have a great day!'s when he says:

We're in this together, right?

I knew from the start that it was a give and take. That you support each other, and you encourage each other. That you're a team. But he's never said it before. Not that he had to, but just the fact that he wanted me to know... he knew. Wow. My response?

Always honey.


Jrzy Army Wife

That was really sweet. Glad he'll be home soon. I am so excited for you.